Taehyung freezes. “Puh-please, d-don’t leave.”
Ratings: Mature
Categories: M/M
Chapter: 4

Being confused is nothing that’s unfamiliar to Yoongi. 

He’d been confused when he was four and the white family cat, Sugar, all of a sudden didn’t come home. His nanny at the time told him that Sugar met the cat president while out on a walk. The president was sick and needed to find a successor and saw something in Sugar. So he asked him to come with him to take over. She told Yoongi that Sugar had been sad to leave him but knew that Yoongi one day would be proud of him for saving all the cat’s lives. 

Yeah… 

Sugar got run over by a car and died.

One day when Yoongi was playing with a friend he’d proudly told him about Sugar. He told him how his cat, whom he loved dearly, now was the president of all cats. Surely being a fair and honorable leader. His father overheard them and interrupted his son. 

“Sugar got killed. He got hit by a car and died. Someone found his corpse by the side of the road and saw our number on his collar. They called us to inform us about the animal. Who knows, his remains might still be there,” the man said to him. Yoongi can almost hear the demeaning tone when he recalls the memory. 

“You’re six, Yoongi. It’s time you face the real world and toughen up. Can’t have a sissy running the family business.”

Yoongi had cried so hard that his mother was forced to call the parents of the other young boy, asking them to pick pick him up. 

He’d spent the rest of the evening and night crying in his room. 

Another time he’d been confused was, of course, realising that he’s bisexual. He’s always found boys attractive but never thought much of it. It wasn’t until he shared a kiss with a friend that he’d fully realized. Yoongi couldn’t even remember the face of the first boy he kissed and his head always hurt when he tries too, but it wasn’t something he wanted to dwell on so he let it go. He does, however, remember the feeling of confusion. Realising he wasn’t how he’s ‘supposed’ to be. 

And to make matters worse, his dad knew. He’d walked in on them as they shared their kiss in Yoongi’s room. The only thing he can really remember is the soft lips that had been pressed against his, that there had been a lot of screaming, and even more crying. 

Feeling confused is not an unfamiliar feeling to him. But never in his life has he felt as confused as he does now – at this moment – seeing Jimin escorting Taehyung out of ‘Peaches & Cream’ with a hand around his waist. Taehyung looking as if he’ll fall apart at any moment. When their eyes meet Yoongi feels as though someone punched the air out of him. Taehyung’s eyes are so full of pain. It makes Yoongi want to run up to him, engulf him in a tight embrace, and protect him from the world. Another wave of confusion hits him as he thinks that. He barely knows Taehyung. Why does he want to protect him so badly? Why does he care so much? 

Taehyung mumbles something to Jimin before tearing his eyes away from Yoongi who sits frozen as he watches the two men leaving the café. 

He gets snapped back to reality by a hand on his own. 

“Hyung, are you ok?” 

Yoongi looks from the hand up to the person it belongs to. Jungkook is looking at him, his eyes filled with worry. 

“I… I don’t know,” Yoongi answers honestly. 

“Let’s get you home, Hyung. We can pick up some lamb skewers on the way. My treat,” Jungkook stands up from the table and offers his hand. Yoongi takes it and smiles weakly. 

“No, I’m treating. I’m the hyung.” 

 

Later that night Yoongi’s in bed, twisting and turning, sleep refusing to take him over. His mind is filled with Taehyung. The younger’s face filled with anger and desperation when he’d come into the office, ready to fight. His broken expression as he was being led out by Jimin. Yoongi can’t explain this overbearing guilt that sits heavy in his chest. He barely knows Taehyung so why is he feeling guilty when he’s received nothing but mood swings and confusion from the other? 

The questions are running through his mind as he stares at the ceiling while biting his thumb, something he always does when anxiety runs high and he needs to ground himself.

Without really thinking he takes out his phone, opens Jimin’s contact, and sends a message.

Yoonie Hyung: Is he alright? 

The message gets read almost instantly. 

Image

He slowly got out of bed to take the pills he totally would’ve forgotten if not for Jimin’s reminder. 

Our bond is like this river, you know?

He hears it so clear in his mind that he freezes midstep.

Let’s always remember this place…

The splitting headache makes Yoongi fall down on one knee. His head is pounding and he can’t help the burning in his eyes as tears start gathering. Vivid images run through his mind. The river. Cherry blossom trees. A hand in his own and he swears he can feel its warmth. 

Promise me, Hyung?

“Please… Please stop,” Yoongi strained voice comes out as nothing more than a whisper, but the headache doesn’t falter. If anything it gets more intense and Yoongi wishes it would just go away. It’s as if though someone is stabbing his brain over and over again. 

More images flash behind his tightly shut eyelids. The sakura leaves on the grass by the river bend. His father’s face red with anger, shouting, a feeling of despair hitting him hard. 

What’s going on? 

As fast as it had started it’s gone. 

His head is empty and he’s left balled up on the floor, hugging his knees as he curls in on himself, desperately sucking in breaths in an attempt to level his breathing. The only thing he’s left with is the strong feeling of sadness tugging at his chest as he stays there. Crying until he’s run out of tears.

 

Taehyung doesn’t show up at work the next day. Nor the day after that. If Yoongi was worried before, it’s nothing compared to now. He can’t sit still, can’t hold a conversation for too long, his mind always drifting to Taehyung. Was he okay? Did he eat? Did he sleep? 

Jimin writes to him throughout the days, basically telling him that Taehyung is alive but he couldn’t get much more information than that. Jimin tells him that he calls Taehyung’s place whenever he can, but of course he has his own job and life that he needs to maintain. He did tell Yoongi that Taehyung didn’t speak much. Apparently he’s seemingly lost in thought, barely responsive, and this doesn’t comfort Yoongi in the slightest. If anything, it just makes him worry even more. 

On the third day of Taehyung not showing up at work Yoongi have had enough. He leaves work earlier and decides that he needs to do something. He tried to talk to Seokjin about it, seeing if maybe he knew more, but his response was nothing more than a few short words,

“He’s not feeling so well at the moment. Jimin said that he’ll let me know when Tae feels better.” 

Yoongi is pacing back and forth in his living room, thinking of what he should do. He doesn’t want to anger Taehyung but he needs to know that he’s okay. That he’s eating and taking care of himself. 

Why?

“I don’t fucking know, I just do,” Yoongi says out loud. Answering the question that had popped up in his head. 

Great. Now he’s talking to himself. 

He can’t take it anymore. 

He decides to pick up some take out, stop by Taehyung’s, and check in on him. He has his address from work, he can just double check with Jungkook. 

Yeah, he’s gonna do this. He has to do this. For his own peace of mind. Yeah, it’s for himself. 

Yeah, right.

He tries to convince himself as he gets his keys, his phone, and heads out the door. Feeling a strange sense of urgency running through him. 

Please, be okay. I need you to be okay.

Day 1. 

Taehyung doesn’t even know how he’d gotten to bed yesterday. Did he fall asleep in Jimin’s arms? On the couch? Did Jimin then carry him? He has absolutely no idea. All he knows is that he feels like shit. His head is pounding, his eyes are dry, and he feels so extremely hollow. He’s still having a hard time believing and processing everything that Jimin told him last night. He has a thousand questions but can’t bring himself to ask any. Can’t bring himself to speak, really. 

Jimin sleeps on the couch and spends the whole day with him – or rather, next to him – trying to make sure he eats and drinks. Several times Jimin tries to speak, tries to start a conversation, but quickly gives up when Taehyung can’t give more than a nod or short reply. Deciding to just be there, next to Taehyung, and show him that he isn’t alone in all this. That he has somebody that understands. But how could he – how could anyone – truly understand? The situation is the definition of fucked-up. 

Yoongi had been his best friend. His first real friend. His first crush. His first love. His first kiss.

Taehyung has spent many painful years away from him, with regret for not fighting harder, longing to see him again, to touch him again, to just breathe the same air as him. Now he does, they even work together. He’s right in front of him but still so far away. The part that made Yoongi his Yoongi – gone. Lost in the crash, somewhere at the deep bottom of whatever river it was that he’d almost drowned in. And they didn’t even know if he’d ever come back, if he would ever remember. 

Jimin leaves later that night. Taehyung almost has to force him out the door, reassuring him that he’ll be alright. He doesn’t feel like he will but what he does feel is that he wants to be alone. To wallow in his misery. And Jimin has his own life and Taegyung does <em>not</em> want to be a burden. So he plasters on a smile and promises that he’ll be fine, that he’ll stay in touch, that he’ll eat.

“Okay, but-,” Jimin shifts his weight from one foot to the other, hesitating.

“No ‘buts’, Jiminie. I’ll be fine. You’re not at work. I’m not a patient. Please…”

Jimin stiffened, “I know you’re not a patient. You’re a very dear friend of mine. Family to me and Kook. Don’t push the people who love you away because you’re in pain, Taehyung.”

“I know, I-“ Taehyung hadn’t meant for the words to leave him that harshly. He just can’t think right now. Doesn’t want to. 

“I just need to be alone for awhile. Please, Jimin.”

Jimin’s eyes roam over his face and it’s clear that he doesn’t want to go. Doesn’t want to leave his friend alone to drown in misery. But he gives in.

 “Okay, but… please stay in contact with me. If you don’t, I’ll come back over here. Understood?”

“Yes, I understand. Thank you, Jiminie.”

And with that confirmation, Jimin leaves. 

Taehyung locks the door, the hollow feeling in his chest still there. He turns and slowly makes his way to the kitchen, dragging his feet. He isn’t hungry but still opens the fridge and just stares at the half empty takeout boxes and few other things in there until it happens. 

The dam doesn’t crack this time. It bursts. 

He falls down to the floor as a pained scream leaves his throat. His whole body shaking from his sobs. Everything hurts. It hurts so much. He wishes he could stop the memories that flow through his mind.

I promise to always remember…

“You lied,” Taehyung gets out between sobs. “You promised. You promised you’d always remember.”

Not as if I’ll ever be able to forget you or our friendship.

It’s not fair. What happened to Yoongi isn’t fair. Yoongi not remembering their friendship while Taehyung does, having to see him at work every day, still loving him – none of it is fair. 

What did I do to deserve this?

Tears stream down his face. He can’t breathe. It feels as if though the pain is an actual living creature, his body its host. It’s slithering like a snake within him, wrapping itself around his organs and throat, squeezing tightly. 

“P-please, stop. I can’t take it anymore,” Taehyung wheezes out as he clutches his chest. 

He just wants it to stop. 

 

Day 2

Taehyung is angry. No, scratch that. Taehyung is furious. He’s furious at how cruel the world is. How it’s laughing in his face. He’s furious with Yoongi for crashing and forgetting. Furious with Jimin for bringing him in to work at Peaches & Cream. Most of all his furious with himself. For being so ignorant and for how he’s been treating Yoongi. 

God, I’m so fucking stupid.

He hasn’t slept much. He wouldn’t have eaten if it wasn’t for Jimin and Jungkook calling him and forcing him to eat while they watched. Even though they’re annoying Taehyung knows that they mean well and appreciates them immensely. 

Should we come over?” Jimin had asked but Taehyung declined. Said some bullshit about how he feels better today and was going out for a walk. 

Sure. 

He hasn’t even gotten dressed, still wearing the pajamas Jimin must’ve helped him get on when they’d gotten two days ago. His eyes are swollen and red from all the tears and lack of sleep. His hair is a mess. He hasn’t showered and most definitely stinks. But he couldn’t care less. 

All he cares about is the fury in his body and what to do with it. 

I need to calm down before I break something.

He sits down on the couch and turns on the TV. Flipping through the channels until freezing. 

It’s the same documentary he’d seen almost a week ago. The same goddamn documentary about the same goddamn river. 

At first, he can’t do anything but stare at the screen as the images of the trees and river dance across it. 

Then he starts to shake. 

His whole body is shaking as the fury takes over him. He’s gripping the remote so hard it feels like it’ll break. He knows he needs to calm down. Knows that anger won’t solve anything or make it better. Knows that he needs to control himself. 

Fuck that. 

“God fucking damn it,” he screams as he throws the remote at the TV, leaving a big crack on the screen. The image is distorted, colored lines shooting out from the black crack. 

The woman’s voice can still be heard as she soothingly explains the history of the river. Taehyung can’t take anymore so he flies up from the couch and leaps forward to tug the cord out of the wall. Leaving the apartment yet again silent except for the distant traffic noises from the road outside and Taehyung’s own heavy breathing.

 

Day 3

It’s 4 am and Taehyung can’t sleep. 

No matter what he tries, he can’t seem to get his brain to shut up. He just wants some peace. Just wants to not feel for a while. Just wants some calm and serenity. 

That’s when the thought hits him. 

Let’s always remember this place and whenever we feel lost or sad, we come back here to remember.

It’s a dumb idea, right? 

He’s grieving, sleep-deprived, and desperate. At this point, he will try anything to escape the overbearing desolation. So, he doesn’t really think as he rolls out of bed, throws on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, gets his keys, and leaves. 

 

After driving for 3 hours, he finally reaches Daegu. The sun is beginning to rise, painting the sky a beautiful shade of pink, and he can’t help the feeling of nostalgia flowing through him as he gets closer to his destination. A sense of calm has already started to infiltrate his tormented mind, making it slightly easier to breathe. He’s still feeling anxious, knows that more memories will flow in as he visits what once was their spot. Hurtful memories of pain and longing, but for some reason the good memories had always triumphed over the bad, the sense of calm and serenity always seeping through him as soon as he would visit. 

He doesn’t get out after parking the car. Not right away. 

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. The oxygen in his lungs helping his chaotic mind to quiet down slightly. His thoughts are a low hum instead of the loud buzz they’d been for the last two days. He welcomes it with open arms and his hand slowly drops to his lap from where it had been resting on the key, still stuck inside the ignition. 

Just get out the fucking car, Taehyung, he scolds himself. And with another deep breath he reaches for the handle and gets out. 

The walk from his car towards their spot is strange. He feels so many things. He can almost see the ghosts of their former selves, a small Taehyung and Yoongi, laughing as they run towards the tree they’d always sit beneath. A sad smile flickers across his lips. They’d been so happy back then. Blissful and unknowing of what was to come. 

It’s mostly empty except for a few people. Some out for a morning jog through the park, and some others walking their dogs with tired expressions. The morning air is crisp, the grass and trees are still a bit wet with dew. The sun has reached higher in the sky but it’s still not fully risen. 

He walks through a set of bushes before continuing further down until he reaches the tree. Their tree. Not much has changed. Even the air smells the same.

He’s spent so many days and nights here. Happy moments and sad. Some of the best and worst moments of his life had happened right here. The memories start flowing back, almost as a movie, and he can almost see flickers from his past play out before him. 

But this time it’s not causing panic. The river is working it’s usual magic on him; Calming him down, making him able to breathe – to think. 

He sits down on the wet grass, leaning his back on the damp tree trunk, and lets the ghostly movie of his past play out in front of him. The constant sound of the river as it passes through the rocks and dirt, is relaxing his mind. Keeping him grounded – sane. He doesn’t even notice that he’s dozing off. 

 

I promise.

His eyes snap open. He feels a bit disoriented and it takes his brain a moment to realise where he is. It must be somewhere around noon, he’s left his phone in his car and knows that either Jungkook or Jimin – or both – have tried to reach him. Already so worried about their friend that they must be going through panic right now. 

He sighs. Stretching his limbs and feeling his blood rushing through his arms and legs, his circulation kicking back into action. After another sigh, he slowly gets up and makes his way towards his car. He’s still a bit groggy from his nap and as much as he doesn’t want to admit it – that was the best sleep he’s gotten in days. 

When he gets into his car and checks his phone, he notices that his two closest friends indeed have been blowing it up. Several messages in their group chat showing the transgression of Jimin and Jungkook going from calm to hysterical. He quickly sends a message saying that he had fallen asleep but not really feeling like sharing where. They yell at him for a bit until he apologises for the 36th time for worrying them. Taehyung says that he’s heading for a shower and they ask him to check back in later. 

After locking his phone he chuckles lightly to himself. They’ll make great parents one day.

 

The drive home is smooth but his head’s still a bit foggy. His mind still filled up with memories of the past, anxiety from the present, and worry for the future. But a sense of calm is still lingering from his visit to the river and it’s helping him to think without falling into a state of panic again. 

He wants to be there for Yoongi, even if that means that he will have to befriend him all over again. Get to know the new Yoongi. The post-accident Yoongi. He just wants to have him in his life again and nothing else matters anymore. He won’t lose him a second time; he’ll have to swallow down his own pain. It will be hard but he just can’t be without him anymore. 

He thinks of ways to get closer to Yoongi. Knowing fully well that he’s been an emotional hurricane around the other up until now. But who can blame him really?

He rolls into the garage and parks his car. He’s mostly come to terms with it all. He still feels broken, overwhelmed with how unfair everything is, but he’s come to terms with it. Decided that he wants to do his best to help Yoongi and be there for him. 

It’s better than how he’d been this morning.

Small steps.

Thoughts are still swimming in his brain and he feels drained as locks his car behind him and makes his way to his apartment. 

Bed. He needs his bed.

As he gets closer to his door, he fishes up the keys from his pocket and when he looks up his breath hitches. 

What the fuck?!

Sat on the floor with his head and back resting against Taehyung’s front door is one Min Yoongi. Different bags and what looks like take out boxes lay next to him. He looks as if though he’s doezed of. His face is pale with dark bags under his eyes. He’s wearing an oversized black hoodie accompanied with light blue, ripped jeans. A black beanie sit on his head and he looks – cute. 

“H-hyung?” 

Yoongi’s eyes snap open and he looks at Taehyung. Something similar to relief seems to be washing over him as his shoulders relax and his eyes soften.

“Hey kid.”

He’s so relieved. Taehyung is here and he’s okay. 

Sure, Taehyung looks tired, exhausted even, but he’s in one piece and Yoongi can finally breathe. He’d been stopping by some shops on his way here. Getting food, ice cream, plushies and some other stuff, hoping to cheer the other up and help him with whatever he’s going through. 

“W-what are you doing here?” Taehyung’s voice breaks Yoongi from his thoughts and he quickly gets up. 

“I just,” he starts but he’s having some problems getting the words out so he takes a deep breath. 

“I was worried, Taehyung-ah. You didn’t… You looked so upset and then I didn’t see you at work so I just… I had to make sure you were okay.” 

“Oh.” 

Oh. Maybe he overstepped. He should probably go. What was he thinking?! 

“Yeah uhm,” Yoongi awkwardly scratches his head. “I got you some food and stuff. I don’t want to bother you so I’m just gonna-” 

He’s interrupted by Taehyung flying into him. 

All of a sudden he has Taehyung’s face nuzzled deep into his neck and the younger’s arms tight around his shoulders. 

“T-thank you, hyung,” is the last Taehyung says before he completely breaks down. His whole body is shaking as sobs rack through him and for the first time Taehyung seems small. Yoongi instinctively wraps his arms around Taehyung’s waist in an attempt to comfort him. 

“Sh, hyung’s here. You’re safe, Taehyung-ah. I got you,” he says, trying to be as comforting as he can, his hands moving in circles over Taehyung’s back. 

The two of them stand like that for who knows how long. Yoongi mumbling comforting words as Taehyung cries into his neck, holding onto Yoongi as if his life depends on it. 

“Let’s get you inside, hm? Where are your keys?” 

Taehyung freezes.

“Puh-please, d-don’t leave,” he says in between sobs and hiccups, making Yoongi’s heart clench. 

“Oh, Taehyung… I won’t. I’m right here with you. Just gonna open the door and get us inside, yeah?” 

Taehyung weakly nods as he hands the keys over. His head still hung low. Yoongi opens the door, picks up the bags from the floor before gently grabbing Taehyung’s arm and guiding him inside. 

Yoongi just cares about getting Taehyung to sit down so he doesn’t look around much. Opposite the door is an alcove that leads to the living room. There is a beige couch in the middle of the room and as Yoongi leads the younger over he notices the corner of the room. 

In front of a window stands canvases, some naked and some with different motifs. One of the pieces grabs Yoongi’s attention. It’s a painting with green grass, a sakura tree, and a flowing river. It seems to be set at sunset, shades of purple and pink blending together beautifully. Something about it seems so familiar. As if he’s seen the painting before. He can almost smell the fresh air and grass, feeling a sense of calm flowing through him.
He decides that he’ll ask Taehyung about it later, his main focus right now is to comfort the younger. 

“I’m just getting you some water, okay?” He says gently after he’s managed to get Taehyung to sit on the couch. The younger gives him a quick nod and points towards what Yoongi assumes is the kitchen. So he hurriedly takes the bags and goes towards the door Taehyung had been pointing at. 

He puts the food in the fridge and the ice cream in the freezer before grabbing a bottle of water and two glasses. Then he hurries back to the living room to join Taehyung. When he sits down on the couch he notices the big TV opposite the coffee table. There is a big crack going through the screen, the remote is on the floor in front of it, and the cable seems to be out of the outlet. 

“What happened to the TV?” Yoongi asks the question before thinking and it makes Taehyung chuckle lightly. Or is that a giggle? No matter what it is, the sound makes Yoongi’s insides warm up. 

“I b-broke it earlier,” Taehyung says, still hiccuping slightly. 

“Oh… Why would you do that? It looks expensive.” 

“Hyung,” Taehyung whines, the sound making Yoongi smile. 

“Fine,” Yoongi says before lightly grabbing Taehyung’s chin in his hand, making the younger face him. His eyes are puffy and red rimmed and his nose is red from all the crying. 

“What’s going on, Taehyung-ah?” 

Different emotions dance over Taehyung’s face and he seems conflicted but Yoongi patiently waits for an answer. 

“I can’t tell you, hyung. It’s… It’s really complicated,” Taehyung says, sounding frustrated. 

“I’m not forcing you to talk to me, Taehyung, but I’m here and I have time if you ever change your mind. I’m here for you and I care, okay?” Yoongi says this while looking deep into Taehyung’s eyes. 

“Why?” 

The younger’s question catches him off guard. 

“I… I don’t know. I just do,” Yoongi honestly replies. He has spent enough time thinking about why he cares about an almost stranger and he can’t do it anymore. He can’t fight it. Can’t fight the worry and care he feels towards Taehyung no matter how confused those feelings leave him. 

“Hyung, I-,” Taehyung doesn’t finish his sentence. The two of them just look at each other as the air around them changes. Getting slightly heavier, more loaded. Yoongi begins to feel a slight buzzing and he has to fight his body not to squirm where he sits. Suddenly, his mouth feels dry and his tongue automatically flicks out to wet his lips. He doesn’t miss the way Taehyung’s eyes drops down to track the movement before quickly darting back up. 

Before he can think anything else Taehyung’s lips are on his own. 

His eyes widen in shock and he sits there frozen for a moment before his brain catches up to what’s going on. He then relaxes and closes his eyes, and allows himself to just enjoy the soft feeling of Taehyung’s lips on his. His hand goes up to caress the younger’s cheek. It’s not much more than a tentative peck of lips. Both men just breathing each other in. Waiting. They separate for a second before Taehyung places his mouth back on Yoongi’s. This time it’s harder – more desperate – and it’s not long until Taehyung licks Yoongi’s bottom lip, asking for access. Yoongi grants it by spreading his lips slightly, letting Taehyung’s tongue slide in and explore his mouth. 

Taehyung’s hands go up to Yoongi’s shoulder and squeeze while Yoongi’s goes down to rest on the younger’s waist. Then, Taehyung gently pushes Yoongi so that his back is resting against the couch before he moves himself until he’s seated in his lap. 

Their kiss is deep and they don’t break it until they’ve run out of oxygen and need to breathe. Yoongi barely gets enough oxygen down his lungs before Taehyung’s lips are back on his. The younger starts to slowly grind down on him, his big hands moving to grab at Yoongi’s hair and something about Taehyung’s desperation wakes Yoongi from his drunken state. 

Something is off. 

It’s not that he doesn’t want Taehyung, but he’s upset and Yoongi would never want Taehyung to regret anything or feel used. It takes all the strength Yoongi has to break the kiss. He leans his forehead against Taehyung’s as he tries to catch his breath, his hands coming up to cup the other’s cheeks. 

“Hey,” he says as he tries to gain Taehyung’s full focus. The dark, lustful look in the younger man’s half lidded eyes not helping Yoongi with keeping it together. He’s doing everything he can to not just resume kissing Taehyung and taking him there and then. 

“Taehyung-ah, this is not a good idea.”

All of a sudden Taehyung seems fully awake, broken out of his haze, and his eyes soften as new tears quickly gathers. 

“I’m sorry. Oh my god, I’m so sorry, hyung. I’m so sorry,” Taehyung’s rambling now, seemingly going through panic and Yoongi’s heart breaks for him. 

“It’s okay-” He starts but is quickly interrupted by the younger. 

“It’s not okay. Oh my god, I’m so sorry. Maybe you should leave… yeah. It’s probably better if you leave,” Taehyung says while starting to move off Yoongi’s lap.

No, they’re not about to do this again. 

“Hey, look at me,” Yoongi says stern as his hands hold Taehyung in place with a firm grip on his hips. “We’re not doing this again. Don’t push me away. I… I like kissing you,” Yoongi takes a deep breath. He needs to formulate himself better than this. 

“It’s not that I don’t want – wherever this was going – but you’re not in the right state of mind now, Taehyung, and I don’t want to take advantage of that. I don’t want you to have any regrets.” 

Taehyung just looks at him before he leans his head in the crook of Yoongi’s neck and cries again. Yoongi hugs him back and tries to hush him. 

“Maybe you should try to get some sleep, hm?” 

Taehyung doesn’t say anything but Yoongi feels him nodding, so he tightens his grip around the younger man and lifts him up, Taehyung clinging to him like a koala, and walks towards what he hopes is the bedroom. 

After kicking the door open he walks towards the bed and lays Taehyung down on it as gently as he can. He tucks him in and brushes some hair off his forehead before he turns to leave but is stopped by a hand on his wrist. 

“Puh-please, s-stay… with me?”

Taehyung looks so small buried in his blankets and pillows, his nose runny and big eyes, red and pleading. 

“Sure, kid. Of course I’ll stay,” Yoongi breathes out and gets in the bed next to Taehyung. 

The younger is quick to drape his leg and arm across Yoongi, his face nuzzled in his neck again. 

“Promise you won’t leave?” Taehyung asks, exhaustion lacing his words. 

“I promise. I’ll be right here. Now, try to sleep,” Yoongi says and his hand goes up to pet the younger’s hair.

“Mmh,” Taehyung breathes out and not long after that his breathing is even and heavily, the younger deep in sleep. 

Yoongi can’t help but stare at his face, his features now relaxed and peaceful. His heart clenches and his stomach does a flip. Taehyung is just so beautiful and something about him – his face, his energy – is so familiar. So… home

“I’m not going anywhere,” Yoongi says quietly before bending down and placing a soft featherlight kiss on Taehyung’s forehead. 

Before he knows it, they’re both fast asleep, tightly hugging each other, and feeling safer than either of them had felt in many, many years.

END NOTES:
Thank you for reading! This chapter has been a bit heavy with anxiety so feel free to DM me if you need to talk! Borahae
By: FelxFics
• Fiction/au writer •
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