Nothing to see here, just Jeon Jeongguk, Min Yoongi, and a bad day that gets better. (Featuring, a lot of soft feelings.)
This week had been— something. Jeongguk wouldn’t say it had been bad, because he had gone through much worse in the past, but it had still been rough. Packed, with a lot of stressful deadlines. And fatigue. Jeongguk had been so tired the past few days. Could barely keep his eyes open if he wasn’t focused on university’s work. And his boss had noticed that.
She was amazing. Jeongguk forever be grateful for her. Really. She was always attentive and always so sweet. So comprehensive. Maybe too much? (Not too much, Jeongguk knew that, he was just bitter.) But Jeongguk couldn’t handle it, sometimes. Being treated like he was too fragile, too weak to do what he was supposed to do. So, when she came up to him in the middle of his shift and softly told him he had the rest of the day off and should go home to rest, he almost burst in tears. (Almost). He felt like a failure. He knew she was right, knew he hadn’t done anything helpful since the beginning of his shift, but it still stung. He hated feeling useless and pathetic. He was already feeling like he was failing uni, he couldn’t lose his job!
He didn’t have a choice though. Even though her voice was soft, even though her words were careful, there was no room for discussion. Jeongguk could only nod and quietly pack his things while trying not to look too miserable. The little “See you on Monday!” his boss chirped before he slipped out of the bookstore helped a bit, but not enough. Nowhere near enough.
Jeongguk was spent. Felt drained. He made his way back to his apartment in a blur. His feet knew where they were going, so his mind just— let go. Blanked. It was like taking a seat back in his own head. Everything was fuzzy. It was a bit like he was high. Kind of. Except that it broke down quickly. Too quickly. The comfortable fuzz shattered the minute the large dark cloud hovering over his head cracked with thunder. Next thing he knew, Jeongguk was soaked to the bone, jumpy as he tried not to walk faster. Which was hard.
Tears were slowly but surely welling up in his eyes and Jeongguk wanted to smack himself. He usually didn’t mind thunderstorms. If anything, he liked them, loved seeing nature unravel, showing how strong and fearless it could be. When he was a kid, thunderstorms were his escape too. Not that he really needed one, but it felt like for a moment, he was thrown into a entirely different world, and he could just dream, imagination going wild.
So, no, Jeon Jeongguk wasn’t scared of thunderstorms. But that day, as he tried to walk home, it all felt too loud, too close, too much. His head was buzzing, images from this week’s tests and failed homework and laborious shifts twirling, bouncing off the walls of his mind, each memory louder than the precedent. He felt like he was going crazy. It was too much and he needed quiet! Out. He needed out!
Thunder echoed somewhere behind him. It wasn’t that close, he was still safe, but it still startled him.
When, finally, his building came into view, he almost sobbed. He needed to change. It was Friday. He could have a full night of sleep. He did the laundry last night, his clean sheets should be dried by now. He shuddered as a heavy raindrop hit the top of his head, slowly making its way down his neck. He couldn’t wait to curl up under his covers and sleep. God, he couldn’t wait.
Thinking about it, there wasn’t much separating him from that dream goal: climb up the stairs, make his bed, take a shower, find a clean nightshirt. That was it. Simple. Yet, when he stepped in the hall of his apartment building, everything felt like— too much. The stairs felt like a mountain to climb, the broken elevator mocking him. The sole thought of having to bend forward to tuck his bedsheets properly made his knees wobbly. He felt weak. The tears pressed harder against his eyes. And he knew there was a headache coming his way.
Drained. Jeongguk was a second from letting himself drop to the floor and curl up there. But behind him, the sky cracked with thunder and Jeongguk felt the door behind him rattle under the wind (when did it get so strong?) as the old neon lights weakened for a moment. He couldn’t stay there.
Jeongguk shook himself. He couldn’t stay there. He was stronger than that.
But he wasn’t that strong either. Jeongguk did manage to climb the stairs all the way to the third floor. He managed to get his keys out. To unlock the door. He managed to slip inside his flat but the minute the front door fell shut behind him, all his strength left him. His backpack crashed on the floor in a disgusting wet noise and he couldn’t even bring himself to be worried about his belongings. Maybe all his notes of the day were ruined but— it was too far away from him. He couldn’t do anything. Couldn’t walk in, couldn’t look around. Couldn’t even fall. His body was locked in place as exhaustion crashed down on him in waves, stronger and stronger. When the dam broke, it was quiet and he barely felt it. He noticed he was crying because the wet drops hitting his cheek weren’t icy cold anymore. He blinked. Even that required too much effort.
“Jeonggukie, everything’s okay? Did you get caught in the storm?”
Maybe Jeongguk jumped at the voice, he couldn’t tell. Couldn’t remember. Because the startled feeling that might have shot some adrenaline through his veins was nothing compared to the relief that flooded his entire system a second later. His knees buckled and his voice sounded raw and broken as he finally spoke.
“Oh, fuck, Ggukie!” Yoongi gasped, rushing to Jeongguk’s side the minute he spotted him, worry obvious in his eyes. Jeongguk must have looked terrible for Yoongi to react like that, but he didn’t care. Because Yoongi was warm and solid and Jeongguk could just— lean into him. Yoongi wouldn’t go away.
“Today sucked,” Jeongguk breathed out and he could hear the tears in his voice. His breath caught in his throat and when he continued, his voice got louder, a bit raw on the edges. “This entire week sucked. Uni sucked and work sucked and there’s a storm and I’m soaked and cold and I’m tired and my bed isn’t even made and I’m scared the power’s gonna go out and I’m cold! Fuck, hyung, why’s it so cold?”
Jeongguk panted as he finished his sentence, trying to hold back the sobs piling in his throat. He basically just shouted at Yoongi. It was rude and aggressive for no reason but— but Jeongguk was tired and he felt like he was going to explode!
“Actually…” Yoongi spoke up, when he felt like Jeongguk wasn’t about to crumble entirely and slip through his fingers anymore. “I made your bed this afternoon. Had time to spare. And— if the power dies, we’ll make do. How about you take a shower? So that you can actually get warm water. Yell if something goes wrong.”
There was nothing funny, be it about the situation or in Yoongi’s words. Nothing at all. Yet, Jeongguk still found himself chuckling low in his throat, blinking more tears away as Yoongi helped him to his feet. Maybe it was his nerves. Maybe it was his crush. Who could know?
The shower went… it went. Jeongguk zoned out during the whole thing, (maybe a way for his body to keep functioning and do something other than break down) so he couldn’t really say it went bad. One moment Jeongguk was closing the shower curtain around him, the next he was stepping out, still shivering but clean. Still wanting to cry too, and unsure of how his legs were carrying his weight. Overall a mess, but at least he didn’t smell like a wet dog anymore.
He was in the middle of praying for it to get better when dark fell suddenly around him. There was a loud buzz and the light went out. Entirely. Jeongguk froze, heart beating much too fast for it to be healthy, hammering against his ribs. He clung to the towel he had wrapped himself into, shivering as anxiety and worry nibbled at his stomach. He swallowed around the lump in his throat. Once again, he found himself unable to move. He was scared. He didn’t know why, it wasn’t reasonable to be that scared, but he couldn’t help it and it made his stomach churn. He felt too vulnerable today for it to happen. It was too much. Jeongguk honestly felt like the sky was about to crumble on his head and send him straight to Hell. A whimper caught in his throat.
“Jeonggukie! Please, don’t move, I’ve got it, I’ll be here in a second, I just gotta— give me a few seconds, hyung will be right here!”
Jeongguk couldn’t speak, tongue too heavy, feeling swollen and numb in his mouth. But he still nodded. Which was stupid, because Yoongi could obviously not see him. But— he needed to do it. For himself, or something.
The following minutes were tense. Jeongguk spent them clenching his towel, trying not to move. Trying not to fall apart. His brain didn’t seem to be able to come up with a proper map of the bathroom at the moment and he was scared of walking into something and breaking it. And he was also scared— period. He couldn’t explain it. It wasn’t rational. Just like Jeongguk wasn’t usually scared of thunderstorms, he wasn’t scared of the dark. Yet, fear was perfectly recognizable as it crawled under his skin, making him shiver and shudder. His stomach clenched painfully and Jeongguk bit down on his lower lip. He just wanted to sleep.
“Hyung?” he tried tentatively. His voice wasn’t completely muted yet. Hearing something helped, made it feel less like he had stopped existing (even though he jumped slightly at the sound).
No one replied though. Something cold tightened around Jeongguk’s chest. He swallowed, took a deep and shaky breath, and tried again.
Louder this time. He hoped he was only imagining the frantic edge to his voice.
“Hang in there, Jeonggukie! I’ll be right here, I’m just—” Yoongi’s voice was cut off by a series of loud crashes, followed by some cursing. And more crashes. “Everything’s okay! I just— okay, got it. I’m coming to get you Gukkie!”
It almost pulled a giggle from Jeongguk’s mouth. Almost. Yoongi sounded hilarious, and from the noises Jeongguk could catch, he probably looked just as cartoonesque. Jeongguk’s chest flared with something warm and intense for a second before it was muffled by cold again.
Realistically, Jeongguk knew he could put his hands up and step forward to feel for the wall and the door. Nothing bad could really happen if he tried to get out himself, but there was something heavy and cold rooting him on the spot. He didn’t know what it was. He would call it fear but he wasn’t even sure that would be right. Maybe it was a mix of fatigue, stress and nerves, but— he just didn’t know. He felt like any amount of pain, as little or as big, would shatter him on the spot. He didn’t want to risk it.
A sigh crawled up from his chest and Jeongguk felt on the verge of collapsing, drained. He felt unsteady and the urge to cry was being harder and harder to ignore. What was wrong with him?
“Gguk! Hyung’s here! Oh fuck, you look— okay, it’s okay— okay, come here!”
Jeongguk watched with wide eyes, unmoving, as Yoongi stepped into the bathroom, rushing to grab another towel to wrap it around Jeongguk’s shivering frame. It was cute, seeing Yoongi fret over him like that. It would have made him melt a little if he didn’t feel so out of his own body. Focusing was hard. His eyes kept jumping from one spot to another. Yoongi’s dark strands of hair hopping around, the orangey glow coming from the hallway, his own feet, Yoongi’s fingers, the dirty laundry basket that looked particularly odd in the weird light— Light was nice. Made him think of fire, warmth… God, he was so cold.
Maybe his voice broke a little.
“Yes, yes, let’s go, we gotta get you in bed. You’re so cold, fuck…”
Yoongi was truly adorable. Jeongguk liked him probably too much. His feet naturally followed his hyung’s lead and he soon entirely forgot about the fluttering feelings in his stomach.
He didn’t even try to hold his moan back as he stumbled forward and let himself fall on the duvet. Soft.
“Ggukkie…” he heard Yoongi hush behind him and maybe— maybe it wasn’t meant for him to hear, because it was a tad too fond, a tad too soft maybe. Too intimate. Too soon. Jeongguk felt the hint of a smile pull at his lips.
He rolled himself to lay in the middle of the bed and curled up in his towels.
“’m tired,” he mumbled, feeling his eyelids already flutter shut.
Only to snap back open when his mattress dipped under a new weight. Jeongguk was made hyper aware of Yoongi’s presence, even more when a hand reached for his shoulder, slowly rubbing the towel against his skin.
“I don’t…” Yoongi started, voice a little less confident, a little shier. “I don’t mind taking care of you— to- to be sure you don’t catch a cold or anything! I can light more candles—” oh, so the light came from candles. Sweet. “—and there’s soup and rice in the making. Just— I don’t want you to fall asleep naked Gguk.”
Something hot burned in Jeongguk’s stomach and it took it reaching his cheeks for Jeongguk to understand that it was embarrassment and not arousal. With sluggish movements, he pulled himself up in a sitting position, trying to keep the towel covering the— needed part. His eyes blinked unevenly. Jeongguk yawned.
“I can get dressed?” he offered and Yoongi’s pretty face broke into a big smile. Endeared and amused. Jeongguk couldn’t help but smile back.
“Yeah. Yeah, you can. I’ll get you clothes. What do you feel the most comfortable in?”
Jeongguk took a while to respond, too occupied observing how well Yoongi fit in his bedroom. They weren’t strangers, far from it. They’ve been roommates for two years now, ever since Jeongguk left the dorms and was introduced to this little man desperately looking for someone to help cover rent. It was nice, living with Yoongi. Easy. The man was a bit privy sometimes, but he was also incredibly caring and sweet. He was funny and made amazing food. He was so respectful of Jeongguk’s privacy too. He didn’t get mad when Jeongguk asked for a few more days to pay rent because he had yet to get his paycheck. He indulged in Jeongguk’s favorite animes if, in return, Jeongguk accepted to watch Yoongi’s favorite movies.
Yoongi was an amazing person. Hard-working, dedicated, and so so bright. Yoongi’s smile was the best thing in Jeongguk’s world.
It took a little less than three months for him to catch a crush. It hadn’t stopped growing ever since. Jeongguk had refused to call it anything other than a crush but he knew it was more than that by now. So much more.
Now wasn’t the time though.
Even if Yoongi looked every bit adorable swallowed in his thick purple hoodie, walking around Jeongguk’s room like he belonged there… When he came back toward Jeongguk, it took everything not to pull the older man on the bed with him. Yoongi looked so— warm and cuddly. Like a stuffed animal or something. Something better.
Long fingers threaded through his hair. Jeongguk’s eyes fluttered close as he eagerly leaned into the touch, hungry for more. A puff of warm hair fanned across his forehead. A chuckle. Why was everything Yoongi did so warm and soft?
“Here, Ggukkie, change into these and get in bed, yeah? Hyung will be right back.”
Jeongguk couldn’t stop the smile to spread across his face. Min Yoongi had that power to always make things better, be it with his music, his photography or— himself. Jeongguk let his body fall against the blanket once more as Yoongi exited the room. Just a little while, to give his heart a chance to calm down.
He was so in love.
Jeongguk hummed, curling deeper under the warmth. Everything was so— soft and great. Peaceful. His body seemed to be buried under some silky weight and there was— a sound, just as silky and warm, wrapping him into a cocoon of comfort. Jeongguk never wanted to leave again.
The noise was more insistent. Through the fog of his mind, Jeongguk analyzed it as a voice. Calling. Someone. Him. It was calling for him. Jeongguk had to react. But that meant— reacting. Moving. Breaking out of the heavenly warmth surrounding him. Jeongguk didn’t want that.
The voice kept on calling, though. More pressing. More urgent. Maybe a bit stressed too? Jeongguk sighed, forcing his eyes open. The soft glow bathing the room helped making it more welcoming. Jeongguk hummed again, slowly getting a better grasp on reality. Understanding where he was, why he was so warm, so comfortable… What was the voice.
“Welcome back,” it chuckled. Jeongguk smiled, rubbing his face against his pillow. Yoongi-hyung.
“Hi… When d’I fall ’sleep?” Jeongguk slurred, trying to sit up. The bed was a mess. Jeongguk wasn’t even correctly wrapped under the covers, they had just been haphazardly thrown over his body, like he had fallen on the bed without meaning too. Which was probably what had happened.
“A little while ago, maybe twenty minutes or so. I didn’t really want to wake you up but I thought it’d be better to have you eat something first. You seem to have had a rough day. And then I thought— we could watch a movie or, I don’t know, um—”
Something seemed off. Jeongguk scowled, trying to understand what it was. There was just something in Yoongi’s demeanor that—
“Hyung, are you scared of the storm?” Jeongguk asked, his filters not quite in place yet, as his brain was still half-asleep. He didn’t regret it though, for Yoongi’s blush was the prettiest thing ever. Jeongguk smiled gently.
With some clumsy maneuvering and shuffling around, he managed to get the blanket properly covering him and scooted over to make some room for Yoongi.
“Come on, hyung. I don’t want you to stay alone and scared in that big scary room of yours. Bet you didn’t save any candles for yourself either…”
Yoongi’s blush only darkened (from what Jeongguk could see in the dimmed light) but he didn’t protest. Instead, he moved aside and started to set up the bed. And okay, he came prepared. Jeongguk watched with wide amused eyes as Yoongi put his laptop (almost fully charged), more covers and a tray on the bed.
The amount of food settled on it made Jeongguk snicker but any snarky remark he could have found was killed by how endeared he was. Jeongguk was probably the definition of heart-eyed as he watched Yoongi trying to shimmy his way under the blanket. He looked every bit adorable and cuddleable, drowning in a way too big white shirt, bangs falling in front of his eyes. Jeongguk felt bold in this moment. Maybe not enough to actually do anything, but enough to consider playing with those strands of hair, enough to consider pulling Yoongi closer, letting his own stress be melted away by his warmth.
It was a nice thought.
“We should eat before it gets too cold. I can reheat it because the gas stove shouldn’t die, but I’m lazy. Come on, Gguk. And drink all your soup.”
Jeongguk laughed a little at that, turning his attention back on the tray. Folding his legs to be sure he wouldn’t accidentally kick anything, he bent forward and wrapped his hands around one of the two bowls meant for him. It was filled with green pottage. Jeongguk knew it wouldn’t be his favorite, but everything Yoongi made was good. Always.
He was so gone for the man.
He dipped his lips into the beverage and tried not to wince too hard at the heat.
“Don’t burn yourself,” Yoongi replied immediately, sounding distracted.
He was currently folded in an obviously painful position to reach his laptop without having to move the tray. Everything felt so domestic it made Jeongguk’s stomach flutter. He took a sip of his soup, the heat less surprising this time. He would be damned if he were to admit defeat and use a spoon.
“What do you want to watch? I have some movies downloaded there. Maybe I have some animes…”
“Do you still have that movie you were talking to me about? You know, the french one… OST… something?”
Yoongi turned to look at him, surprise painted on his face, making it glow in some peculiar, beautifully mystery.
“/OSS-117. I… I do, but we can— Are you sure you wanna have to watch a french movie? It’s not dubbed, and you’re tired. Are you sure you wanna watch it? I haven’t watched it myself. Apparently it’s funny, but like—”
“Yoongi-hyung,” Jeongguk gently cut him off. “I’m sure, yeah?” For you. Jeongguk felt himself blush. He wanted to do something for Yoongi, too. Wanted him to enjoy that moment. “I wanna watch something you like.”
Something warm and bright flashed through Yoongi’s eyes and they crinkled with happiness before disappearing from Jeongguk’s sight, focusing back on the screen. Jeongguk smiled smugly into his bowl, letting more soup slide down his throat. It tasted less bitter now.
Yoongi eventually leaned back against the headboard, bringing his bowl of soup with him, eyes focused on his laptop’s screen. Screen on which a movie was playing. A movie that very much didn’t look like a french movie.
“I want to watch something I like too. And I’m feeling too lazy for french humour. I wanna see pretty things. I’m scared of the storm, remember? I need soft things. I am to handle with a lot of care, mister. So Nausicäa it is. Your favorite movies aren’t a torture for me to watch, Ggukkie…”
Oh. Oh. Oh. Jeongguk’s smile was much too wide for the circumstances. He tried to hide it in his soup. He didn’t know why it made him feel so happy. For Yoongi to say he liked— things Jeongguk liked. He didn’t understand. But he felt happy. So happy.
“Thank you, hyung.”
Yoongi’s smile could be heard in his voice as he replied with a low “welcome, Ggukkie.”
When thunder crashed again, Yoongi barely flinched. Didn’t have the strength to. Everything was so… nice and warm. They were half-way through the movie by now. The tray had been discarded a while ago, along with the empty bowls. There were still some snacks sitting next to Jeongguk, all untouched. The night had been tiring and weird, none of them were really that hungry. Not for food, anyway.
Some lazy heat had wormed its way under their skin, leaving them a little sluggish and a lot content. Jeongguk’s body was curled toward Yoongi, most likely angling for more warmth as his eyelids drooped every now and then. One of his hands was weakly fisting the blanket covering them. He looked so soft and comfortable next to Yoongi. So appealing, in a very delicate way. It would be so easy to just… lean in, and rest against him for a moment. A few minutes, top! Only enough for a recharge. Or two.
And maybe he could? It wasn’t wrong, to want closeness, intimacy. It wasn’t wrong, to want comfort and affection. It wasn’t. Yoongi had always been very open about his feelings. To himself at least. He knew what he was feeling for the other boy wasn’t platonic. Not entirely. And he was okay with it. As long as he stayed respectful and honest, there was nothing wrong with trying to get a little closer.
And Yoongi wasn’t a coward. Or maybe he was, but he felt too close to something too important. He couldn’t not try and reach for it. Also, he was feeling sleepy and warm and Jeongguk was every bit adorable, eyes wide and slightly glazed over, cheeks a cute pink, pouty lips pinched in concentration. His hair was dry now, and with the lack of after shower care, it was an adorable mess.
Yoongi smiled, to himself, to the world maybe. Reached forward and carded his fingers through Jeongguk’s hair. Soft. Of course it would be. He kept his touch soft and gentle, ready to pull away the minute Jeongguk showed any sign or disliking it.
He expected a question, some surprise, but to his surprise, Jeongguk only leaned into the touch, eyelids fluttering for a brief second. Yoongi’s heart stuttered and squeezed painfully. He thought about how shaky and vulnerable Jeongguk had looked when he came home earlier, and again after his shower. He must feel so tired right now. Yoongi didn’t deem himself as the strong protective type, but at the moment, it was extremely hard to fight the urge to pull Jeongguk against him and hold him to make sure he was okay and would always be okay.
So hard to fight it. Too hard to fight it.
Yoongi didn’t want to. He just wanted to accept it. He was greedy, and he wanted everything.
So, he reached for it. Shuffled a bit up the bed so he wouldn’t hurt his back and slipped his hand from Jeongguk’s hair to his shoulders, softly coaxing him into a soft embrace.
And again, Jeongguk went easily. Willingly. Sort of melted into it, actually. Yoongi didn’t question it. Didn’t want to question it. Only smiled and appreciated how lucky he was.
“Today really sucked, didn’t it,” he mumbled lowly. Jeongguk only hummed in response, but it felt shaky too. Yoongi wanted to kiss his head, made sure he knew he wasn’t alone. Not now, though. Too soon, he thought. Eventually, he hoped.
Yoongi startled, gasping incoherent words as his eyes shot open.
“Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you up,” a timid voice said, sounding soft and sleepy too.
“What’re you doin’?” Yoongi mumbled, slowly taking in Jeongguk’s curled up form trying to roll away from him. Yoongi immediately let his arms fall open.
“The movie’s over, I was going to put your laptop away but I didn’t want to wake you up…” Jeongguk mumbled, blushing. So very cute. Yoongi couldn’t help but smile.
“’kay,” he mumbled, leaning back against the pillows, feeling really peaceful.
He watched through hooded eyes as Jeongguk sat up (with a little difficulty) and closed the laptop shut. The boy’s too large shirt stretched across his back as he twisted to get the laptop on his nightstand. Then, with much less care, he grabbed the bags of snacks waiting on the bed and threw them on the ground.
Yoongi watched him with rapt attention, waiting for the moment the boy would lay back in bed, anticipating it maybe. But nothing. Jeongguk didn’t really freeze, he simply— stayed there. Sat on the bed. Looking straight ahead, but not zoning out. Yoongi frowned.
“Gguk?” he asked, voice still raspy from sleep.
“Um, sorry,” Jeongguk replied, nervously scratching the back of his head. “I just— um, I was wondering— Are you— are you gonna stay there?”
Yoongi felt his blood freeze but Jeongguk rushed to continue almost immediately, something akin to horror twisting his pretty face.
“Not— not that I don’t want you to! I just— um. I just— like—”
“Are you embarrassed by something?” Yoongi asked, tilting his head to the side as he watched Jeongguk curiously. A pretty pink bloomed on Jeongguk’s pink. Cute…
“I don’t— I just— We’re going to sleep and I don’t—”
“Wear clothes when you sleep. I know. It’s okay. I think I’m gonna take my pants off too. It’ll be too warm otherwise. Ggukk, I’ve already seen you in your underwear. It’s okay.”
Jeongguk’s blush only seemed to worsen at that. It was fun. Yoongi was starting to understand why Jeongguk was such a brat sometimes. The appeal was most definitely there. Maybe Yoongi would have continued to tease if he actually knew what had Jeongguk that flustered. Jeongguk was so cute. Yoongi felt soft and so— devoid of any stress at the moment, he really wanted to play. He felt— seductive, and Jeongguk was so responsive.
But he didn’t want to risk pushing too far. Baby steps.
“Jeongguk-ah,” Yoongi started again, struggling to sit up. He put a hand on Jeongguk’s back. It was as delicate as humanly possible, yet Jeongguk jumped. But he didn’t pull away. Yoongi started to rub circles into the younger’s skin. “I really don’t mind if you don’t wanna put any cloth on at all. I really don’t mind.”
Maybe it was his words. Maybe it was his voice. But something seemed to get Jeongguk’s attention. His eyes were wide when they met Yoongi’s, searching for answers. Yoongi didn’t know the question. He only knew that Jeongguk’s eyes were pretty. Beautiful. Jeongguk was still blushing. Yoongi smiled. Jeongguk nodded. Yoongi wanted to kiss him.
He dropped back on the bed. Sighing. Not now. Soon. Hopefully.
Time and silence stretched. Jeongguk was fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. Yoongi couldn’t look away. He knew he should, but it was just so nice, to just look. It didn’t feel wrong, either, which was what made Yoongi’s sluggish brain reluctant to look away. But Yoongi was no psychic. He couldn’t know if Jeongguk was uncomfortable or just shy. He couldn’t assume. Didn’t have the right to. So he shook himself and looked away, busying himself by shimmying out of his sweatpants. He took off his socks too. (It had been a while since he slept with someone (literally slept with someone) but he knew from experience that keeping socks on was the worst thing ever and left you drenched in sweat.)
When he finally dropped back on the bed, Jeongguk had gotten rid of his clothes too. Yoongi only caught the glimpse of a toned chest before everything disappeared under the duvet with a barely there squeal.
“You’re adorable,” Yoongi whispered, filters broken. (Maybe Yoongi was a little happy about it.)
Jeongguk turned to face him, a scowl creasing his eyebrows.
“Shut up, you’re the one drowning in my blankets. You’re the cute one, with your one meter and fifty—”
“Hey now,” Yoongi gasped, faux indignation laced in his voice. “That’s a low blow.”
Jeongguk’s eyes crinkled as he giggled and Yoongi melted entirely. The urge was too strong and he couldn’t resist it anymore. He felt weak as his hand came up to stroke the boy’s hair back. No one could blame him. Jeongguk’s face immediately lit up with surprise. He was so expressive. So responsive too, Yoongi thought as Jeongguk started to nuzzle against his hand. Yoongi didn’t know if the gesture was unconscious or deliberate. It made his heart rate quicken either way.
“Hey,” Yoongi started, breaking the comfortable silence.
“Hey,” Jeongguk replied. They had yet to look away from each other. Yoongi would have rather died than even consider it.
There was something in the air between them. Around them. Everywhere. Yoongi couldn’t deny it. Didn’t want to deny it. He just— he wanted. He had spent so long waiting. He didn’t want to anymore. His thumb found the apple of Jeongguk’s cheek and slowly stroked over it. Jeongguk’s eyelids fluttered but he didn’t break eye contact.
There was something intense swimming there. Not hunger, not quite— but close. It wasn’t sexual, either. It was more. A craving. For intimacy, maybe. Yoongi smiled, soft. Jeongguk mirrored it. Yeah. There was something.
“Come here,” Yoongi whispered, not wanting to break the bubble they were in. Jeongguk smiled. Nodded.
And he came here. Wiggled and crawled until he was right against Yoongi, chest touching his, lips centimeters from Yoongi’s. Not quite right. Not quite what Yoongi wanted. So, Yoongi moved. Turned fully on his side, ran his hands against Jeongguk’s scalp, down his neck and up again. He felt tension seeping out the boy’s muscles. It only took a little pressure from Yoongi’s fingers for him to melt and curl against Yoongi’s frame, his nose easily finding the crook of his neck.
Yeah. That was right.
This time, Yoongi didn’t hold back. He dropped his head, pressing a kiss on the top of Jeongguk’s head. He felt a shudder run through Jeongguk’s body. The boy’s lips stretched into a little smile. So endearing. Yoongi kissed his head again, snaking his arms around the boy so that he was holding him properly. Finally.
“Fuck, yeah,” he heard Jeongguk groan against his collarbone.
It was a slow process, Yoongi and Jeongguk moving around, adjusting to find a proper cuddle position. Jeongguk was tall, but having him hold Yoongi didn’t feel right. Yoongi wanted him there, tucked in and precious.
My baby. Yoongi smiled at the thought. It was cheesy and cliché and maybe a bit creepy, but it felt right, too. Nice.
“Hyung?” Jeongguk mumbled at some point, somewhere between sleep and consciousness. Yoongi hummed, lips pressed against Jeongguk’s forehead. Jeongguk pressed his legs deeper into their tangled mess. Closer. What a cutie. “What is going on?”
Jeongguk’s voice sounded a bit smaller, timid this time. Confused. Maybe scared. A frown tugged at Yoongi’s mouth and he tried his best to pull Jeongguk’s body closer. He pressed another kiss to his forehead, and when Jeongguk lifted his head, he barely hesitated before kissing his cheek. His so very pink and so very round cheek. So lovely.
“I like you.”
The words were easy. Slipped out like water, from Yoongi’s lips to Jeongguk’s eyes, then ears. There were several reactions, and Yoongi took all of them in, as they were all absolutely splendid. Surprise, first. Jeongguk’s eyes widening comically, mouth falling open. Questioning came shortly after, Jeongguk frowning very slightly as doubt clouded his eyes, but it didn’t last. Jeongguk quickly turned flustered, that oh so pretty blush coming back full force. And then, finally, giddiness. Happiness that came along understanding and acceptance. The blush didn’t leave, but Yoongi couldn’t not see the smile Jeongguk was trying to swallow down, nibbling on his (beautiful) lips, restless.
Yoongi delicately pushed the stray strands of hair away from Jeongguk’s face. Their eyes met and Jeongguk’s seemed to be sparkling. Yoongi couldn’t help but smile harder. Bright, gums full out. It pulled a giggle from Jeongguk’s lips. He pressed closer. Or Yoongi pressed him closer. He couldn’t remember.
“Yeah?” Jeongguk asked in a whisper, chest thrumming with quiet laughter.
“Yeah,” Yoongi replied, voice deliberately low and raspy. He felt Jeongguk shiver in his arms. The boy’s smile broke through, and Yoongi’s heart stuttered.
He was beautiful.
He had no reason to hold back.
It pulled more giggles more Jeongguk’s mouth. He seemed to be buzzing with some restless energy. Yoongi could feel it in his arms. Therefore, he wasn’t that surprised when Jeongguk surged forward, pressing a clumsy and rushed kiss to his lips. Their noses bumped and their teeth clashed a little. They couldn’t stop smiling.
“I like you too, hyung,” Jeongguk breathed against Yoongi’s lips. Yoongi’s heart lurched forward, hammering against his chest. His hand found Jeongguk’s lower back. His skin was so warm and soft. He felt the boy arch slightly in his arms.
“I’m so happy…” Yoongi admitted in a sigh and didn’t give Jeongguk the time to say anything before kissing him again.
Their second kiss was different. Slower, gentler. Yoongi easily took the lead, naturally even, and Jeongguk all but melted into it. His lips pushed back against Yoongi’s, soft and delicious, until Yoongi tested for more, humming pleasantly when Jeongguk’s lips fell open for him. Such a perfect boy.
They lost track of time there. Kissing. Simple kissing, yet it was so much. Their hands couldn’t seem to settle, exploring the other’s body, marvelling at the expense of skin under their fingers. Yoongi found some spots that had Jeongguk gasping ever so slightly. He filed them away for later. He didn’t want more now. It was all perfect. Right. So right.
Jeongguk was dreaming. Yet, he had never felt more awake. Yet, never felt more relaxed either. It was perfect. Yoongi was perfect. That night, everything had happened in a blur, the confession and the sudden kissing was no exception, but it all felt imprinted in Jeongguk’s brain. He wouldn’t ever forget it. And he was so glad for it.
He had never felt more home than he did right now, in Yoongi’s arms. The older man was so warm and so soft against him, his hands gentle as they slowly roamed over Jeongguk’s arms, his back, his thighs— Jeongguk struggled to suppress some shudders, but Yoongi never commented on it. Simply moved on (sometimes hummed a bit).
Jeongguk felt dazed, mind caught in a comfortable fog. He felt like he was drifting away, lulled by Yoongi’s careful touch. He realized distantly that the kissing had stopped. Yoongi’s lips weren’t on his anymore. There was skin, instead. Jeongguk could feel Yoongi’s pulse.
His neck. In another timeline, Jeongguk would have pursed his lips and teased his hyung, would have enjoyed make him squirm until he cracked. But this Jeongguk felt lazy and warm. This Jeongguk felt sleepy and soothed. At ease. So, he didn’t tease. He didn’t do anything, simply let his body sag entirely, let himself drift away as Yoongi’s caresses slowed down, more distant, somehow.
It was okay.
Jeongguk fell asleep with the distinct knowledge that Yoongi wouldn’t ever let him go. He was safe, and even as the thunder struck in the distance, they stayed tangled and peaceful.
He was so in love.